John: Gird your loins.
You gird the fuck out of those loins. No loins have ever been girded as hard as these ones. If some kind of RESPECTED AND PREDIGIOUS LOINGIRDING CONTEST were to be held right here and right now, your loins would be the UNCONTESTED VICTOR. No one can hope to beat you in a GIRD-OFF. You are simply the best there is.
Of course nobody can see how outrageously girded your loins are because of the FORM-CONCEALING ROBES you are wearing, and also because they are out of frame.
And, really, you are OK with that.
> John: Entertain fantasies of glorious victory.
