Dave: Piss on the floor and roar like a lion.
No!!!
God, no.
You really don’t want to remember the FOURTH YEAR YULE BALL.
a hideous crossover AU Homestuck fan adventure
by owlpellets (picturesmith and overall storyboss)
with assistance from scarfmouse (plotting assistant and interactions coordinator)
> PROLOGUE (recommended!)
>> START AT THE BEGINNING
> FURTHER DETAILS
> RELATED MISCELLANY
> ASK A QUESTION
Dave: After seeing your old shades on your past self, fondly recall how you got your sweet new aviator shades.
dude, no. you’ve gotta believe me. these are the PINNACLE of muggle fashion right now.
are you sure
would i lie to you, dave?
(hehehehehehe)
Dave: Shake it like a polaroid picture.
You have no idea what a polaroid picture is.
Besides, in your experience as an artistic teen wizard photographer, shaking pictures is just a bad idea. It always upsets the inhabitants.
Dave: Check out your suspicious hourglass necklace, maybe that has something to do with it.
No shit.
You dimly recall reading about something like this. You think it’s called a TIME-TURNER or something? God, you wish you’d remembered that before you just went dicking around with it.
You hold it up, taking great care not to do anything with it that might cause SUDDEN AND UNDESIRED TIME TRAVEL.
As far as you remember, a Time-Turner allows the wearer to travel through time by turning it over a certain amount of times corresponding to the length of time you want to travel, either forwards or backwards.
You can, however, discern no clear indication of how much time a single turn will take you. God this is a pain, why doesn’t wizard shit ever come with a manual.
All you can determine is that the direction you turned it in already will take you back in time, obviously, and so presumably the opposite direction will take you forward.
What will you do?
Be the Dave hiding behind the Hufflepuff house banner. Then go home.
Oh. That Dave.
Right.
You are Dave Strider. You are nearly 16, and last time you checked it was 2010.
You just watched your eleven-year-old self being Sorted into Gryffindor, though, which you distinctly recall was a thing that happened in 2006.
You have no idea how to go home.
No, not that Dave.
What?
Statistically speaking there are probably other students named Dave at Hogwarts, but as far as you know you are the only one who actually has a speaking role here.
> Be the Dave hiding behind the Hufflepuff house banner. Then go home.
Dave: Go home.
You can’t do that, you just got here!
Besides, the idea of going home doesn’t seem all that appealing right now. You’re not sure how your BRO is going to take the news that you got Sorted into GRYFFINDOR instead of SLYTHERIN, like him.
Okay, you do know. He is going to take it with the same expressionless face he takes everything. You’d just rather not have to tell him in person.
Not that you would ever admit this to anyone. As far as anybody else gets to know, you are 100% chill with being in Gryffindor. You are going to rock this honour and bravery shit like no one ever rocked it before.
wwell wwell wwell
i seem to havve dropped my quill
let me just bend dowwn and pick that up
did i mention that im part vveela
As an apology for the continuing lack of updates, we would like to offer you this sensual seasonal illustration
(Source: mousefeets)
happy valentine’s day
sorry about the dearth of updates lately, between being ill and settling into a new job I (tumblr user owlpellets) have had a bit of trouble getting myself into the swing of things
i promise we will be moving onto act 2 in the very imminent future
also here have some bonus john<>vriska
probably she has drawn both of them as pirates in wifebeaters holding hook hands on that valentine
WELL, THAT WAS EXHAUSTING.
There were of course like three dozen other children you just had a profound and irrevocable effect on, but NOBODY CARES ABOUT THEM. A good job done, though, you feel. This is where you would give yourself a pat on the back, if you had a BACK, or HANDS.
You hope all those kids go on to lead fulfilled and happy lives, having been pigeonholed into competitive social groups based on vague traits they possessed at age eleven and which will now form the basis of others’ judgements of them for years to come!
Time to go TAKE A NAP ON YOUR SHELF for a few months and then come up with a new SONG or something. Damn it feels good to be you.
